The Titans: Totally Lame


So we got some trash talk help from Matt Jergensen from Ravens’ Gab.  Thanks Matt.

First, we head to wikipedia, where weird, over-sensitive Tennessee natives wrote the nicknames section:

“Nashville is a colorful, well-known city in several different arenas. As such, it has earned various sobriquets”

Second, their QB is Kerry Collins.  Here are Kerry Collins’ stats from the 2001 Super Bowl game:  15/29 with 0 TD, 4 INT and  had one pick returned to the house.  Kyle Boller is better than that.  And he has a girl’s name.

Albert Haynesworth has an anger problem.  Most of you should probably remember his stomp job on Andre Gurode’s head, now making Gurode a shoo-in for Pro Bowl every year because he’s the only center people automatically know.  Not only was it gross, horrible and cold-hearted, it made a whole culture uneducated about their voting patterns.

Some Titans have had drinking issues, like Jevon Kearse arrested for a DUI and Kerry Collins, a recovering alcoholic who used racial slurs while addressing teammates under the influence.  

 

Here are some famous lame-ass people from Nashville:

  • Dave Ramsey, Financial “Guru.”  He was the financial advisor for many banks…
  • Joe Blanton, MLB Pitcher.  He’s been traded alot.  Because he’s form Nashville and no one likes Nashville.  And he smells weird, too.
  • David Price, MLB Pitcher.  He’s public enemy #1 in Boston, and he plays for the Rays, you know, the worst team in the MLB?  Right?
  • Miley Cyrus, Singer.  Ugghh.  Read this article, she’s so underprivileged.
  • Al Gore is from Tennessee.  He lost to George Bush in an election.  How dumb could he be?

There are alot more, trust me, but we don’t have time for lists.  

Cortland Finnegan is a girly name and a girly player...  Ken Amato is lame.  I’ve never heard of him before…  They have a guy named Dave Ball on their team.  Hee Hee.  BALL…  Rob Bironas is lame because he’s a kicker.  Matt Stover is a kicking machine, not a kicker.  Kickers are lame…  They have a guy named Quinton Ganther, like Gunther on Friends.  Nobody liked Gunther… They have two guys with the last name Harris, Leroy and Tuff… They have a player from Duke.  Duke is not good at football.  It’s been proven… They have 3 people on their roster from Fort Valley State, and they are the only team in the NFL with any players from the college.  Investigation maybe?  Their “franchise QB” is a backup to Kerry Collins, is emotionally fragile and is lame…  The greatest QB in their history hates them.  Only two years and he’s turned his back on his old team…

Their stadium is named LP Field.  “LP” stands for “lame players.”

 

THE TITANS ARE TOTALLY LAME.  BRING IT ON LITTLE KERRY COLLINS.  YOU WILL BE SMOTHERED.