Recklessly Early Predictions For 2016 NFL Season Post Draft Edition

NFL Predictions: Ravens Playoff Team But Fall Short

With the NFL draft finished, teams prepare for minicamps which means the NFL season starts in about four months, but time can’t prevent our ludicrous predictions about the outcome of the NFL season. Forget signing all the rookies, selecting a 53 man roster, or the potential of cataclysmic injuries ruining a teams season and let’s pick some playoff contenders.

AFC EAST

1. Bills           12-4
2. Patriots     10-6
3. Jets            5-11
4. Dolphins   4-12

• Tyrod Taylor played sneaky good last season for the Bills, and this year with an improved defense, they should steal the division.
• Facing the first four games without Tom Brady, the Patriots might scrape out a 1-3 start; 9-3 down the stretch leaves them out of the playoffs.
• Not signing Ryan Fitzpatrick might seem like the reason the Jets put up a disappointing record, but he is overrated; however, not even Todd Bowles can out coach the schedule this year.
• New head coach Adam Gase needs to hope for a miracle to win more than four games with a roster devoid of offensive talent.

AFC NORTH

1. Steelers     14-2
2. Ravens      10-6 (WC)
3. Bengals     8-8
4. Browns     4-12

• Pittsburgh’s draft failed to capture rave reviews as many feel they stretched on picks including first round pick Artie Burns, but the Steelers offense compile points as good as any team, making them hard to beat.
• Coach John Harbaugh leads the Ravens to the bounce back season they deserve; hopefully, Marc Trestman figures out how to use all the new offensive weapons.
• The Bengals miss the playoffs this year as they lost the only offensive coordinator to make Andy Dalton look like a legitimate quarterback.
• Hue Jackson’s coaching ability will return the Browns to greatness just not this year.

AFC SOUTH           

1. Jaguars     10-6
2. Texans      10-6
3. Colts          6-10
4. Titans        3-13

• Picking the Jags to win the division is trendy, but they improved both sides of the ball during the offseason and will be fun to watch.
• The Texans over spent on an unproven quarterback, but dat defense doe.
• Ryan Grigson and Chuck Pagano’s oddball relationship continues to destroy this football team; it sucks for Pagano who will prove his coaching talents in another city.
• As Vince McMahon’s theme music states, “No chance, that’s what you’ve got,” and after resigning Mike Mularky and failing to get any real weapons for Mariotta (who needs to throw the ball down the field better or ever), the only thing the Titans compete for is the first overall pick, again.

AFC WEST

1. Raiders     11-5
2. Chiefs        11-5 (WC)
3. Broncos     9-7
4. Chargers    2-14

• The Raiders field the most improved roster in the NFL, and even the potential of leaving the Oakland can’t deflate this team.
• Again, the Chiefs find a way to make the playoffs despite being the most boring team in the NFL.
• The tandem of rookie Paxton Lynch and veteran failure Mark Sanchez throw enough interceptions to make the best defense in the NFL miss the playoffs.
• One of the least talented rosters in the NFL faces the second straight last season in San Diego and that didn’t help the cause last year.

Next: On to the NFC

NFC EAST

1. Cowboys    11-5
2. Redskins    8-8
3. Giants         6-10
4. Eagles         2-14

• Cowboys easily win the division assuming Romo stays healthy, and for these predictions, we will ignore the broken collar-bone he will suffer in week two and the torn labrum in week ten.
• Kirk Cousins continues to be the most talked about mediocre quarterback since Jay Cutler; the Redskins remain average, but no playoffs this season.
• Why spend a fortune on defense and keep the man who spends each season redefining himself as the worst defensive coordinator in the league?
• Howie Roseman spent the offseason clearing out the stench of Chip Kelly from the Eagles roster, but Kelly spent the year before getting rid of anyone talented.

NFC NORTH

1. Packers        15-1
2. Vikings        11-5 (WC)
3. Bears            6-10
4. Lions            4-12

• Not many players return from injury and help the team Jordy Nelson will this season; Nelson being on the field makes the rest of the offense better.
• The Vikings smother opposing offenses, but only manage to score enough points to win; with two years under his belt, maybe Teddy Bridgewater takes the next step.
• John Fox’s coaching staff ranks highly in the NFL; too bad the roster barely counts as a professional team.
• No Calvin Johnson means no reason to watch the perennial under achievers Lions.

NFC SOUTH

1. Panthers      13-3
2. Saints           7-9
3. Falcons        7-9
4. Buccaneers 5-11

• The reigning MVP, Cam Newton, continues to do more with less than any quarterback in the league, and Kelvin Benjamin returns to make this offense even better.
• The most miserable mess to watch in the NFL continues, and I’m starting to not feel so sorry since they keep signing up for more.
• Julio Jones amazes us every week and Devonta Freeman is pretty fun too, but I think I can speak for all of us when I say I’m over this whole Matt Ryan thing until he proves anything.
• Lovie Smith was fired because the Bucs didn’t want to lose Dirk Koetter which means the team goes backwards for a season while he learns how to be a head coach.

NFC WEST

1. Cardinals      13-3
2. Seahawks     12-4 (WC)
3. Rams             6-10
4. 49ers              2-14

• Carson Palmer looked awful in the playoffs, but that won’t be the case this year.
• The Seahawks continue out playing most of the league; Marshawn Lynch’s retirement will not slow them down.
• Jeff Fisher and Les Sneed save their jobs for one more year since they can blame starting a rookie quarterback for their shortcomings at their jobs.
• 2-14 because Chip Kelly.

Next: Playoffs and Awards

AWARDS

MVP: Aaron Rodgers

I’m not going out on any limbs here; the Packers will be dominant and Rodgers will win.

OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Antonio Brown

No Martavis Bryant means more targets and possibly a reception record for Brown.

DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE YEAR: Khalil Mack

After finishing second in sacks last season, Mack’s progress continues with a better supporting cast.

OFF ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Ezekiel Elliott

Running behind the best front in the NFL gives him the easy edge.

DEF ROOKIE OF THE YEAR: Darron Lee

Lee might sack the quarterback a lot this year in Todd Bowles blitz heavy defense.

PLAYOFFS

WILDCARD ROUND

Jaguars over Chiefs, Ravens over Raiders, Seahawks over Cowboys, Panthers over Vikings

DIVISIONAL

Bills over Jaguars, Ravens over Steelers, Cardinals over Seahawks, Packers over Panthers

CONFERENCE CHAMPIONSHIP

Bills over Ravens, Cardinals over Packers

SUPER BOWL LI

Cardinals over Bills

Next: Early Prediction Of Ravens 53 Man Roster

There’s the season in a nutshell. No reason for them to play now, but I’m sure they will, thankfully. Check in again for the less reckless picks just before the preseason.