“Large Tuna” at The City That Reeds, a Tailgate 365 Ravens blog, volunteered for this and did a great job. While it is hilarious, thought-provoking and at times, a bit vulgar, he knows what he’s talking about. So without further ado, I present to you Large Tuna’s 2009-2010 College Football Preview.
Is there really any doubt in anyone’s mind that the eye blacked apostle who hails from the University of Florida will win the Heisman again. Tim Tebow has already been enshrined on campus with his own display citing his speech following the September 27 loss to Ole Miss, the kid has accomplished more than every other home schooled child combined. However, the Heisman race will most likely look a lot like last year, with Sam Bradford and Colt McCoy both returning to their respective schools for a final season, and the addition of my sleeper Ole Miss quarterback Jevan Snead, the Heisman race will be once again all quarterbacks.
Now onto the conference previews and just to get it out of the way let’s just start with the hardest one to pick, since it is a freaking toss up every year. The SEC.
The East division in the SEC is much easier to pick to win because of Florida alone, and the fact that Lane Kiffin pretty much has already sanctioned himself out of coaching, the East is a lockup for the Gators. However, the West division has Alabama, LSU and Mississippi – but Saban will fall to the Rebels in the West and Tebow’s credo will be tested once again in the SEC championship game when the Hand Clappers face the Rebels in a matchup that is too close call. But since I do believe Florida will be in the BCS title game, Florida takes the SEC championship by a very slim margin.
Before Hokies running back Darren Evans went down with a season ending knee injury, Virginia Tech would have been my favorite to win the ACC, even though they were probably the worst BCS team last year other than the Cincinnati team they played in the Orange Bowl. With Tech’s top runner down, his injury opens the door for teams like Georgia Tech, Florida State, North Carolina and Miami to jump up into contention. The two team’s who will most likely challenge the Hokies will be Georgia Tech, despite their homo-erotic Transformer photoshoot, the Yellow Jacket’s are now in their second year with the new spread offense and managed to retain their stud Jonathan Dwyer in the backfield. Look for an ACC Coastal division battle between the Hokies and the Jackets, it is a toss up for the Atlantic division between Florida State and Clemson, but it won’t matter because whomever wins the Coastal division will be playing in a BCS game.
It is fair to say that almost no one cares about the North Division of the Big 12, except maybe those orbiting around Mark Mangino and his sidekick. The real battle in the Big 12 is, as always, in the South division with Texas and Oklahoma. The battle between the former National Champion runner-up and the future National Champion runner-up (Texas) will be decided between whose quarterback can play better than the other. But the dark horse within the bunch who could surprise both teams is Oklahoma State. OSU’s Zac Robinson is just as good as either a Sam Bradford or Colt McCoy, the offense is never the question mark when addressing the Cowboys, but whether their defense can play at the same the level. Regardless, a team from the Big 12 South will be playing in the BCS title game this January.
This part you can most likely skip over, because just like everywhere else, a Pac-10 preview is one giant Trojan lovefest. It is hard to criticize a team that doesn’t do anything wrong. So until Pete Carroll is no longer cool, which will most likely be never, USC will remain the perennial favorite in the Pac-10. However, Cal’s Jahvid Best could surprise the Trojans as well as Heisman voters, but as all you saw in the Rose Bowl two year’s ago with Rashard Mendenhall and Illinois, a running back can’t beat USC all by their lonesome.
Joe Paterno maybe half puppet and half robot by now but he still has quarterback Darryl Clark and linebacker Sean Lee on a Penn State team that will most notably pummel the rest of the Big Ten, maybe Ohio State plays them close. However, despite heavy fandom and since Joe allowed me to write the college football preview, I get to pick my Spartans to be the sleeper team in the Big Ten. Spartan’s head coach Mark Dantonio has 15 starters returning this season and after two bowl appearances in two years, East Lansing should expect more of the same from the Green and White.
Outside of the students and the team’s, most (meaning me) do not care about the Big East. Sure, West Virginia may bring something to the table, like this or maybe this or even this, but no one really knows what that is yet, and Rutgers is always OK, but other than that, the Big East is a basketball conference. One could include Cincinnati in the mix, since they represented the conference in the Orange Bowl last year, and maybe Pittsburgh, the Big East championship will most likely feature Noel Devine and the Mountaineers against the Scarlet Knights. Don’t forget to watch Syracuse try and make Greg Paulus a quarterback after four years of playing basketball.
Non BCS Schools
Utah caught a bad break last year, the BCS really screwed the pooch when they didn’t even consider Utah as a co-champion after pounding Alabama in the Sugar Bowl. If anyone has a chance to crash the big dance pants party this year and further arguments for a playoff, the Boise State Broncos have a very good chance at a BCS bid. However, the entire outlook of their season will depend on their season opener when they square off against a very good Oregon team. If the Broncos cannot close out the Ducks in week one, then they can kiss their BCS bid goodbye. The Utah Utes are in the same position, sitting at no. 19 in the presesason poll, the Utes face the Ducks in Autzen Stadium on September 19. TCU has a chance to take home the Mountain West championship and sour some hopes during the holidays as well.
Since I hate the Fighting Irish, they will be lumped with the rest of the non-BCS conference infidels. Their coach is too fat, their quarterback is too…douchey? And they’re too arrogant to join a real conference along with always being on NBC. Notre Dame quite possibly might have one of their easiest schedules in years. As much as it pains me to say it, Notre Dame will be in a more significant bowl than the Hawaii Bowl this upcoming season.
Here are your premature BCS outcomes
BCS Title Game: Texas vs. Florida Winner: Florida
Rose Bowl: USC vs Penn State Winner: USC
Fiesta Bowl: Alabama vs. Boise State Winner: Alabama
Sugar Bowl: Oklahoma State vs. Ohio State Winner: Oklahoma State
Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. Rugers Winner: Virginia Tech
Top Freshman This Year: Manti Te’o, Notre Dame
Look out for: Jeff Wolfson’s preview, a MASN employee who has coincidentally just started his own blog with TG365.