Data shows porn surfing rises significantly in cities during their NFL team’s bye week.
Not shocking to me, but I really do have a hard time (no pun intended) occupying my Sunday during Ravens bye weeks. I get the shakes (again, no pun intended) from no Ravens football while most other teams are playing.
That’s why I’ve put together a list of things to help you survive the dreaded Ravens bye week:
10. Throw a yellow flag every time your spouse says, “What should we do today?”
9. Go to Walmart and ask a sales person whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
8. Watch Ray Rice highlights from this season or the past two seasons of Walking Dead. Same thing.
7. Grow a uni-brow.
6. Spread Icy Hot on your Sunday morning bagel.
5. Tailgate at church.
4. Make naughty bitstrips about your friends on Facebook (I hate those things)
3. Wear cleats and a foam finger to bed. (giggity)
2. Eat yourself into a coma, anyway.
And the number one thing to do during the Ravens bye week:
1. Root against the Steelers!
Bye weeks are brutal.