NFL writer pitches deranged Ravens' kickoff return idea that will never happen

The NFL's new kickoff rules, which are meant to increase the number of actual returns, have teams like the Baltimore Ravens trying to twist themselves in knots trying to construct the best special teams lineup possible. This new movement even has Justin Tucker willing to bulk up to become a better tackler.

The Ravens appear to have solved their issues in free agency, replacing former return ace Devin Duvernay with an All-Pro in Baltimore native Deonte Harty. Even with Harty on the team almost exclusively to return kicks, some are convinced the Ravens need to reinvent the special teams wheel.

CBS Sports' Jared Dubin created a list of every team's "ideal" kickoff returner now that the play is much safer. Dubin appears to have forgotten what the word "ideal" means, as he pitched four different players as possible returners for the Ravens, with each suggestion seemingly getting worse.

Backup running back Keaton Mitchell makes some sense due to his speed, but why would the Ravens put star wide receiver Zay Flowers on kick returns? To make matters even crazier, Dubin proposed putting running back Derrick Henry and quarterback Lamar Jackson in such a precarious position. Who would approve this decision?

CBS Sports proposes Lamar Jackson, Derrick Henry as kick returner

Saying that coaches should be fired for individual roster decisions is an overused trope often adopted by some of the more emotional fans out there. Rarely is it warranted. However, if anyone on this coaching staff is even thinking about putting Jackson (read: the entire franchise) on kick returns, everyone needs to be washed out of the building.

Jackson may be elusive, and Henry running at full speed is one of the most difficult players to tackle in NFL history, but the Ravens would be risking the entire season for the possibility of maybe getting two extra yards per return.

There may be a kick return competition in Ravens minicamp, however. Harty is the favorite, but it wouldn't be a crazy idea to see Mitchell get some reps. If there is an unusual Harty replacement who could come out of nowhere, perhaps a rookie like Rasheen Ali or Devontez Walker could get some looks.

In Narnia fantasy world, where the Madden injury sliders could be turned off, Jackson would be a great kick returner. In reality, the Ravens would be making an incomprehensibly stupid move if they put Jackson in the line of fire.